Pain and Fear

When you pinch yourself, hard, with a pair of needle-nose pliers, say, you can endure Herculean amount of pain. Enough to leave your nipples semi-hard for three hours with fancy groves running back to front. When Mistress Misery, however, applies the exact same amount of pressure you find yourself in incredible pain and utter “Mitt Romney” (which has been your…

Rats Image source pic courtesy of Victor Habbick / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Fear and Loathing

Last week I had Jury Duty. I’m pretty sure that will either end up here or in my next book. Anyway, I’m back. Two weeks ago I wrote about how I became a hero to my wife by vanquishing an evil enemy. After slaying the repulsive bug beast, I was left with questions. Questions and a red brown sludge filled…

Jonah Hill

Florida Horror Story

Last night I got on a bus with Sarah Silverman, Jonah Hill and Jessica Lange. As we climbed aboard I saw that it was a long bar-bus limo thing and I wondered if I was in a cool Bud Light commercial where I get the night of my life in exchange for selling my soul for a multi-national company whose…

Not Ready For The Apocalypse Now

Apocalypse Not 

I’m Not Ready For The Apocalypse I always thought I was but, seriously, I’m not at all ready for the apocalypse. The first end of the world novel I read was Stephen King’s The Stand.  I was 13 at the time and fell immediately in love with the concept. Since then it’s stayed a very popular trope. There have been thousands…