Scott Oglesby | Author | Humor Writer | Blogger

I wish I could say this new, pristine website was going to be a laser focused vehicle to show what a goddamned comedic genius I am. But it’s not going to be that at all. Blogging has always been an outlet to my overstimulated brain. It’s a vent in the factory of a thousand amphetamine addled chimpanzees furiously throwing feces at a thousand internet search engines in the hope of blocking out the ever-encroaching darkness of my soul. More

opossum plays dead

Opossum Hate

Since I published my post last week opossum v dog I have been inundated with hate mail, angry phone calls and one passive-aggressive singing telegram made by a man wearing an opossum suit who ended the routine by fake spitting cheesy string at me with a flamboyant hiss. Apparently there are a shit-ton of opossum lovers out there and they are…

drum circle belly dancers

Treasure Island Drum Circle

Sunday is one of my seven fundays. Fun for me means a strictly regimented routine so that I always know what I’m supposed to be doing. On Sunday mornings (when I’m not working) we play tennis, Sunday afternoons are spent with football or movies and lots and lots of cooking, and Sunday evenings are for the Treasure Island Drum Circle.…

Hot Nurse Is My Safeword

Orientation With Many Hot Nurses I’m starting a new job this month. It’s another part-time job, because every job in Florida is a part-time job. The average Floridian is far too busy doing one of four things: (1) Smoking crack, (2) fending off the roving bands of crackheads, (3) drinking margaritas while listening to Jimmy Buffett, or (4) fending off…