When you pinch yourself, hard, with a pair of needle-nose pliers, say, you can endure Herculean amount of pain. Enough to leave your nipples semi-hard for three hours with fancy groves running back to front. When Mistress Misery, however, applies the exact same amount of pressure you find yourself in incredible pain and utter “Mitt Romney” (which has been your…
Tag Archive for humor
Fear and Loathing
Last week I had Jury Duty. I’m pretty sure that will either end up here or in my next book. Anyway, I’m back. Two weeks ago I wrote about how I became a hero to my wife by vanquishing an evil enemy. After slaying the repulsive bug beast, I was left with questions. Questions and a red brown sludge filled…
Glenn Beck Sued By Humanity As A Whole
A class action lawsuit has been brought against Glenn Beck by the Institution of humanity as a whole for copious and irrevocable damage to the human race. An attorney for Humanity LLC, Thomas Grayson said the suit was brought after his client had simply had enough of the mental, emotional, financial and familial damage to the species. The suit alleges…
Will Everyone Please Shut the Fuck Up About Bacon
Bacon! Bacon tastes good, yes it does, but so do a lot of other, less heat-attack-y, more versatile foods. Bacon, if cooked properly, is crispy and salty and delicious. Bacon is an acceptable and welcome addition to every possible meal in a day. Bacon is not your best friend, that’s either your dog or your spouse or drug of choice. Bacon…